Buckingham Palace just dropped a plot twist that probably made Montecito shake a little. Prince Andrew has just lost the right to use his Duke of York title. All those shiny honors? Collecting dust in royal history now. The only thing he’s keeping is “Prince,” because you can’t exactly revoke a birth certificate.

Technically, the dukedom still exists on paper, but Andrew can’t use it. It’s like having a gym membership — you’re banned from entering. Charles and William had their little royal pow-wow, and suddenly Andrew’s HRH status is now about as useful as a broken tiara. Sarah Ferguson also had to ditch the “Duchess” branding and return to plain Sarah Ferguson.

But let’s not get distracted, because the real comedy is happening across the Atlantic.

Harry and Meghan, sitting in their Montecito mansion, suddenly hearing the sound of their titles trembling in fear. Because if the King is willing to pull the plug on his own brother — Meghan “I’m Sussex Now” Markle might want to rethink embroidering “DSSO” on her Lady Dior. Titles aren’t forever tattoos; they’re like Wi-Fi passwords — abuse it and access denied.

Harry got his Duke of Sussex title as a wedding present. Meghan got the sparkle, the tiaras, and a chance to cosplay as a Disney princess. And then they yeet-ed out of the Firm faster than you can say “Megxit,” promising not to use their titles for commercial gain. And yet, here we are — the Sussexes slapping “Duke and Duchess” on everything that moves: books, podcasts, documentaries.

Meanwhile, Andrew — the walking scandal — just showed more loyalty to the Crown than Harry has in five years. He didn’t write a memoir, didn’t run to Oprah, didn’t drop a whiny Netflix series. He shut up and stepped back.

Harry? He went rogue. Meghan? She branded herself harder than a Kardashian.

This is bad news for Harry. Like, pants-wetting-in-Montecito bad. Because now King Charles has set a precedent. Even blood brothers aren’t untouchable. And if Andrew’s titles can be iced out after decades, Harry’s Duke of Sussex could be next on the chopping block.

Charles and William are united. The family’s done playing nice. If the Sussex brand is a royal poker hand, Harry’s holding a pair of twos while the Palace has a royal flush. And if — or when — they decide to strip those titles, don’t expect hushed family talks. Nope. It’ll be lawyers, notaries, and private secretaries.

Andrew, for all his disasters, still kept loyalty to the family. Harry torched the bridge, danced on the ashes, and sold tickets. No one in the family’s got his back anymore. If this title talk happens, Harry won’t be at the table — he’ll be served the legal notice.

So yes, somewhere in California, we can practically hear the sound of designer trousers getting damp. Uncle Andrew just proved the Crown can and will take away what’s gifted. If I were Meghan, I’d start stitching “Ms. Markle” on that Dior bag real soon.

Open season on royal rebels has begun — and the Sussexes might be next. See less